Bummed…

I do my best in trying to stay up beat and positive because I believe a positive attitude goes a long way.  Being positive helps me remain focused on my goals, it keeps me optimistic instead of doubting myself or losing faith.  Simply put, being positive helps me to keep my eye on the prize.

But if my journey that I share is going to be a truthful one, it is only fair for me to share my bad days.  Tonight is one of them.

My day started off great, I even had a great workout.  I was pretty pressed for time so I chose to focus on cardio, arms and shoulders.  I limited my ab work to sit ups because I ran out of time.

I came home and showered and that is when things started going downhill.  I bent over to pick up my baby oil gel (I prefer putting it on my skin while it’s still moist).  When I bent over, I had an instant feeling of cramps on the lower side of my left abdomen and shot to the lower left side of my back and down my left leg.  The pain was intense and unforgiving. 

I grabbed my side and quickly realized I was stuck.  I could not stand up straight, when I tried, the pain intensified.  So there I stood in my shower…naked, wet and bent over in pain.

I stood there for about five minutes unable to move until I was finally able to squat down and then stand up. The painful difficulty continued as I tried to dry off and get dressed. 

I’ve spent my night alternating heat and electrodes and have taken pain medication in search of relief.  Two hours after the medication, I’m still in pain.

I am feeling bummed out because as much as I want to move forward in my life, and as hard as I want to train, I feel like the pain of my injury slows me down.  I feel like I live with a constant reminder; almost as though I have someone constantly trying to get in my way of my success.  It feels like I am in a constant battle with my body.

As much as it slows me down, I never let it stop me.  I try to listen to my body.  I know when to rest and when to push hard.  I just miss the days when pain was never an issue.

When I have the pleasure of such a pity party, I often think about the man driving the truck that recklessly smashed into the back of me, shoving me directly into the truck in front of me all because he wasn’t paying attention.

It angers me to know that I can safely assume he has since moved on with his life.  Although my injuries could have been way more serious, or even fatal, I am still living in pain 4 years later.

Despite how I’m feeling, I’m actually laying here trying to figure out how I can workout tomorrow.  I’m trying to consider what routine I can put together and what kind of exercises I can do without injuring myself further.

If this means I can only walk on the treadmill, I will do just that. It doesn’t matter how bummed out I am feeling at the moment, I refuse to lose sight of my goal.  I refuse to allow this pain to become a crutch for me to lean on or to become the excuse preventing my success.

I might be bummed out tonite, but I will be just fine by morning…just wait and see.  😉

Train HARD…Rest easy.

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