When I started my She’s Evolving blog, I never wanted to be the blogger that posted, just to post. It was very important to me that every post had a purpose because your time is precious. I wanted my posts to have positive impact on someone’s life, inspire someone that needed it, and comfort someone that may be in a situation and feeling alone. My goal was to share experiences, information and thoughts that would resonate with them and open dialog or even challenge someone’s thoughts. But I’ve never wanted to waste your time with fluff.
I haven’t known what to write. I wouldn’t necessarily call it writer’s block because lately, I’ve had the time. I guess the best way to summarize my life lately is to say that I am distracted by myself; meaning my thoughts, goals, desires, relationships, beliefs and my surroundings. And it has been rewarding. Suddenly, the things that are most important to me are neon amongst the grays.
A few months ago, I distracted by the wrong reasons. My heart was in the right place, but I’ve learned that taking action with your heart requires balance with your mind. Too much heart leaves you surrounded by many, but helping your own self out of the mud. To much mind leaves you alone in the mud; however having a balance of heart and mind leaves you with a small group of people you love and trust that will help you get out of the mud. Recent circumstances left me shoved down in emotional mud, but bringing my mind into the situation allowed me to recognize the circle of loves helping me up, wiping me off and making me laugh…and I LOVE to laugh…
My plate is full, and yet I found myself consumed with helping someone else. It’s important to state that there is nothing wrong with helping anyone. Being of service to someone keeps me going. It can be a rewarding experience to know someone else’s life is being impacted by your actions; that is however, a double-edged sword. My problem is that more often than not, I care too much, I give too much, and I love very hard. Trust is something that I’ve learned not to give to freely, it is something that is earned. In essence, I loved, cared and gave too much leaving very little for myself. My actions left me feeling stifled, and it took some time for me to break free…and here I am.
I took stock of myself, and re-evaluated the person I was trying to help and chose to walk away. For anyone that has followed She’s Evolving from Facebook, you may or may not notice that She’s Evolving is no longer running on FB. Anyone who knows me personally will realize that I removed myself from there as well. It simply became toxic, and had the power to control my day. Scrolling through the news feed determined what mood I was in according to what was being posted. I found myself being angry over, (excuse my truth), stupid shit that had no bearing on my life. I cannot control what people say, what people do, or how people act; but I can control Charisse and her life, her surroundings, her direction, her actions, and her words-(most of the time ha!). I chose to remove myself and She’s Evolving from Facebook and gain control of me again. I want my words, my life, my surroundings, and my actions to be purposeful.
It’s important to me that my blog directly aligns with what is taking place in my life. I don’t write about working out and eating healthy, if I’m not working out or eating healthy. I don’t share thoughts that are not of my own-unless I reference them. I don’t write about being happy if I am anything but; and because I believe in being responsible for the energy I bring into a situation, I choose not to write negative posts. Even when I discuss the B side of my life, I try to maintain the silver lining of positivity. I think this truth is what maintains my followers, and keeps me connected even when my fingers haven’t danced on keys. Speaking truth is what I hope separates She’s Evolving from others…(We all have to have our niche right???)
My workouts have been as sporadic as my blogging, and my eating habits have been less desirable but I’m getting back to it. Contributing to this blog regularly keeps me motivated and inspired. Receiving texts, and messages letting me know that my posts are missed encourage me to keep posting when I’m not certain if the world is still listening. THANK YOU-you know who you are…
I think I have rambled on enough tonight. I will begin posting my workouts again tomorrow…
I look forward to sharing with you!